I finished going through the almost 300 people I know/consider friends/acquaintances earlier this week and finally removed almost 70 a couple days ago. It was really a great experience, not because I was dropping relationships that weren't healthy, but because letting go is something I've never been good at. I've always given more chances than people deserved, or just hoped that the relationship would magically become something better than it was. Part of learning how to move past that is letting go and that's why it felt so good to do this.
Out of 298 people:
-65 were dropped
-14 were identified as harmful
-43 were identified as beneficial
-18 were identified as keepers
Of the remaining 158:
-39 were neutral
-35 were from game
-36 were from work
-25 were family
-10 are on hold
-12 should be reconnected with
Those 158 whose reading wasn't clear enough to make a decision over are people I'll be looking at closer. A lot of the neutrals will probably end up being dropped. A good portion of the game, work and family groups will probably end up being dropped. I don't need to collect friends. I don't need to spread myself out trying to please people who will only take what is given and offer nothing in return.
What surprised me most was how many flat-out keeps there were. Aaron, Ashleigh, Ashley, Cecely, Chris G, Holly, Jazmin, Jessica, Josh, Katie, Misty, Mel, Noelle, Preston, Rachel, Renee, Steve, Weston. Six men, 12 women. Nine from college, three from high school, four from middle school, two from earlier. Eight I speak to on a regular/semi-regular basis, eight I speak to a couple times a year, two I need to reconnect with. Of these, I would consider four people I trust without question; two women and two men.
Going through this has taught me that I need to be more open with people, that a lot of the time they need to hear where they're screwing up and where they're doing great. It's reminded me that people can't read minds, no matter how heavily assumed such an ability is today.
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